Liudmila's Diary: Don't read diary of your child!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Don't read diary of your child!

The life is not changed in 35-40 years. And maybe from the time when the humans appeared on the Earth. Yes, I know, I repeat what everybody says in my age, when we have the young generation old enough to think about indipendance for our eyes.

One great poet said once: When I was 20, I went to 40-year-old men to ask them about advices they could give me from the experience of their age. Now I'm 60 and when I see 40-year-old men, I think: oh my God, these boys what can they understand in the life!

Yesterday, when I had to work with my posts and visit my blog-friends, came a daughter of my neighbour to ask me about help with her new computer. When she was 9 years old and had great problems with school program, I gave her lessons for some months. She is a brave girl, but she doesn't know how to sutdy. To do it successfully, you have to understand how to do it. In the other case you will lose many time and forces, health -and as a result you can even remain with empty head. This girl has this problem. She passes all days for the books and can't reach good results. It was when she had 9 years, the same problem she has now too. And we spoke about it.

So, I had to listen her stories about her school life and then about her relations with her mother. And those was the same stories we had when I was 16 years old too. Stories about mistreatments and insults, mothers that feel the only owner of this "thing", that think they have right to do what they want.

I showed to the girl this blog and she understod the name "Diary".
-Oh, I know, it's your diary, the place where you describe your life... I write one too. But my mother reads it all the time. Not that I write something special there but I feel very bad for it. When I enter in the room, she says: it fell on the floor when I cleaned the room and opend. But I know, she comes there to read it and to look if she can find something else. It's disgusting!

I have very violent and possessive mother too, so I know this story from my own experience. Today I understand these mothers. How can they control their children? Specially in this age when they, children, feel adult and do so many stupidities. Simple mistakes, bad friends, drugs ecc ecc. It's easy to speak about friendship between mother and daughter/son but it's not so easy to do. And there are things the children would never say to their mothers. So, how to control them?

So, I say, I understand them. Today.
And I understand, it's pratically impossible that a violent and possessive person can change.
But as an old enough woman I want to say:

Don't humble your child. Don't read his/her diary.

You can't control everything in his life, but you can lose his/her love forever. Love has nothing common with humiliation.