Wednesday, May 15, 2013

How Everything Changes in One Moment

 Life is a strange thing, did you notice it? You live years and years for a cause - than, suddenly, you understand that you were in a wrong place among the wrong persons, doing a wrong work...

You do not judge anybody, you do not want to change anything in that world, you do not suffer, too. You simply see a completely  outside of you reality that does not touch you in any way.

THAT is something like a family living in an other many-storied house. You know that they exist, you recognize them when you see them in the street. You maybe exchange bows with them. But they do not touch you. Even if you see a funeral train near that house, you only look at it one moment. It's something completely irrelevant for you.

Yes, this is the right word: irrelevant.

So, this is what happened to me some days ago. Suddenly, I understood the word I made part of for years is irrelevant for me. This was growing for time inside me. But I could not imagine that it will finish this way. I could imagine something very painful, a very difficult separation - in case I'll arrive at it. Because I could not even think that this cause can finish for me one day. I was an integral part of it.

I'm surprised to observe how I look at it - without feelings, without emotions, without a desire to resew this sprain.

Everything is finished in one moment. That world remained behind my shoulders. I'm in a field where there is nothing around me. The door is closed and I look around: all the directions are open.

Strange is that I have not any desire to look back. Any regret. Any wish to remain there.

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