I noticed it different times, when I touch a theme, it will continue. This morning I began with finding a new for me psychological blog, that told about Emotional Intelligence. Pratically, "self-aware of their(student's) actions and how they affect those around them." The article speaks about some fondamental things like
-Self-Awareness: knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions and having the willingness to share them.Interesting article and I wanted to bookmark it to read it once more later. But after a while I find other blogs speaking about emotions and thoughts. And so I decided to write this post.
-Self-Regulation: managing one's internal states, impulses and resources, and taking responsibility for said.
-Motivation: ability and emotional tendency to inspire, guide or facilitate the reaching of goals.
-Empathy: awareness of others' feelings, needs and concerns.
-Social Skills: adeptness at effecting change through listening and communication; openly communicating and nurturing relationships.
In a comment to one of these sties I wrote, I think, the situation with our thoughts I can compare with a person fallen in a mountain river. We understand, where we are, we know sometimes, it's necessary to do something, but we rarely move towards the rescue. We continue to try to swimm and, often, we lose only control.
I don't speak about "control" when you smile to your client or collegue and the only thing you have inside "if I had Kalashnikov or at least a rifle..." The stupid client believes you maybe. And in this case I understand your behaviour. But it's a bad game.
There is an other solution.
I have one friend, she has a custom to free herself from her bad emotions, saying to the person everything she thinks about the question. All bad words she knows. And she knows many of them. How can you speak so??? Why do you do it? -My psychologist said me so, answers she. And I had the fortune to live many years with 3 persons that chose this solution. They lose control over their emotions befor they have a reason. They are furious, unhappy. The negative energy they spray around them distroy them and everything and everybody come in touch with them.
So the question is not to hide our emotions, not to load them to others, but to understand their mechanism. If you want to use a new cell or car, you begin with study it's functions, no? Why do we never study and cure our soul and body as a new car?
The mechanism is very easy.
To win the party you have only observe your thought or your emotion.
Nothing more. Try.
When you observe the thought, it desappears. When you observe your emotion, it disappears too.
How it works?
If you have a great emotion and you are able in this moment to understand, what is happend, so that you want to free yourself from it (It's unpossible, I'm suffering all the day because that man said me this words, I can't work, I can't do anything...) , begin to observe this emotion.
Where comes it from? Where is it situated in my body?
In MY body the "home" of emotions is the heart. I begin to observe it. I don't think, do nothing else, I only observe it with greatest attention I can pay to it. After some minutes the disturbing emotion disappears.
There is an other way. Transform your disturbing emotion in a prayer.
I'm normally not believer. I have not this culture. Once, very bad things were happend in my family. Nobody and nothing could help us. Immagin what emotions I had. I was disperate. In this moment I remembered somebody said, it's necessary to go in a very old church and pray there. And I did so. You believe me or not, I had the answer during my prayer. My husband thought, I was mad, because I felt happy when I had to cry. But the same night we received a notice, that everything is all right.
After that, I began to use emotions to remember to pray. Not that I ask about something. I use it to feel connection with the Holy Beginning.
How it works?
You turn all your attention from the disturbing thought or emotion to Holy Beginning. In this way you create positive energy.
What do governments when people are angree with them? And a little revolution can happen? They invent a civil war. They turn the attention from bad conditions of the life to enemies that steal work-places. And angree people began to kill enemies and governments clap and cheer.
The same mechanism.
What do you think about it?