Sunday, December 10, 2006

Emotional mistreatment -"bad" chief,parents,friends

."......Disrespect and emotional mistreatment can range from continuous bullying and discrimination from family members, co-workers or peers on a daily basis ......"

As said,I think we have to begin with ourselfs.I propose you to use millenary buddhist technic and observe our mind.What we find there?

When we dig up our soul very deep,we find an interesting thing: every our movement we control if others like us.It's incredible,but we are depending from the opinion of other people about us as druggies from their dope.And this is not last news we find.

If we continue to dig up our soul we find that every moment we observe us to understand what is THIS (this "I") and if we like it.

Maybe you don't believe me.Do it.Observe yourself.

--I'm sad.Why? He/she said me a bad word.

First.What is "bad"? Is any difference for you if you hear "A" or "U",for example?Those are only sounds,nothing more.Say that "bad" word to a person that don't understand your language.
So you understand that this difference is YOU,because are you who define this word as "bad".

Second.Your chief said you this bad word,because he is in a bad emotional state today.He "pass" you his bad emotion and free himself from this emotion in this way.He knows you catch it(or he trains you if you are new there).You are ready to catch it.You wait for it.You define this words as "bad".You show him how much you depend from his good or bad emotional state.And it's in our nature to be content to see others depending from us.It's enough to see some husbands.Like young animals that have to catch their parents to replace them,those persons will try and try and try again.Or they understand you are untouchable,or they can do what they want with you.

These problems you have always in the school.I said you,I worked in school for 15 years and I know what I tell you.Maybe I write about it in my next post.

Now immagin this person (not MY CHIEF but THIS PERSON -very powerful exercise,you know,to call somebody "my" with extraneous "this person".It works even with "mother".) enter in your room in this state.He has this twisted face with those sounds that go out from his twisted mouth.If you see this scene as a comic film (why not?What is the difference?) will you define these words as "bad"?No.

So we turn back to YOU.It's not your chief that says you bad words.It's you that define what you see or hear as "bad" or "good".Right?Why?Because you are not sure that this person defines you as "good".You are not sure,you want to be accepted -you are afraid not to be accepted by other persons.
Why? maybe better I give you an example.We can't see our face.To see it we use mirror.
Our "I" can't see himself.He uses opinion of other persons.

And the thing becomes terrible if our twinkled "mirror" are the most near to us persons.Family members,co-workers or peers.

Once "I" understood that he is "bad",begins to wait for bad treatment,every word he hears is bad,every movement is bad,tragedy.....

So far,what can we do?How can we help our poore "I" ?
--Begin with 40-days training with "I'm good so as I am" ( read here) and other sentences
--identify "my"-person that consciously mistreate you and do "this person" exercise ( I wrote befor).If it is your mother for example you love so much,don't be afraid you don't love her more.You will reach only emotional indipendance but not lose your love.
-- observe youself and explain you what is happend after every situation,why you have this exagerate reaction.What reaction wait from you those persons.
--finally turn your look into you and find where is the thought that provoke this pain.In the mind?In the heart?Look at this place,observe it.Once more.Once more.You see?You have not more your ache.
--do everyday meditation

Here I have to say I'm not agree with those scientists (my older post) that say we have to be treated bad to wake up.We are so often mistreated in our life,most of us lose the capacity to resist,to stand kicks.Norbekov could choose only 3-5 person from 500 (approximately,I don't remember real numbers he writes) of terminaly ill persons that had forces to resist.And they are healthy today.We need first to recover this forces in our soul,I think.

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