This emotion is maybe too private,too deep...Some years ago I'd never thought about it.Not that I didn't have it,but I could not understand it's importance.I even laughed when I had seen persons trembled from deathly terror.First of them was my husband.
Do you remember earthquake of 1980 near Neaples?Surely no.I too.There are many earthquakes every year on the earth.We don't remember the most terrible of them after some months.It's normal,I think.Normal is that every day have to come and to go many creatures.Nobody noticed them come,nobody noticed them go.Me too.
All of you noticed this morning 1 person was dead.He was bad.Now all the world will speak about him 2-3 or more days.What do you think,how many children met their death this morning?How many of them deserved it? Nobody noticed them.I'm secure,the life do not finish with the death of the body and maybe they have to go to the better faith.But what I want to say here is this our carelessness.Today,3/01,I found at least one person thinks about it like me.John Lenon.
So why I began to tell you about earthquake of 1980 in Neaples?Because I live with people that REMEMBER it.My husband told me he was in his car when all this began.45 seconds.He saw higher houses bend to the right,then to the left over his head.One day after great earthquake in Assisi we went to visit an exhibition not far from there.I never was in this city and wanted to see it.My husband said no,but I was the pilot,had the map and said him where to go.And after a long way through the mountains (I chose the wrong rout for it) we arrived straight in the main place of the old part of the city,where the walls of the houses were maintained with sticks else.My poor husband,40 years old man,began to tremble.He lose completly his head.The only thing he could understand was "run away".I laughed.
A year later I was in a shop with 3-4 women looking for an interesting idea to do with a sewing-machine.One of us moved the table where was the example-work and...suddenly one women began to tremble,her eyes become mad and she wanted to run out from the shop."No,no,signora,it's not an earthquake" -said the shop assistant.I understood,what was happend.I didn't laugh more.
(Sincerely after I have seen different persons with this reaction I admire Japaneses.How can they live with this sense all life?I think,it's unpossible to accustome to ancestral terror.)
But here I write not about this extreem manifestation of this emotion.I think,more dangerous and interesting to research is it's hidden side.An obviously example.You see a very nice dog in a corner and want to stroke it.But the dog is agressive and bite you.Why?Because it's afraid of you.It doesn't knows/likes you,it's in the corner and can't run away,your gesture to strike has minacious significance for animals (you want to touch head and neck)
Once I wanted to open the window in a dark room and reached my hand to the band.In this moment somebody bites me! It was a lizard.It dreamed in the corner of the window,when I disturbed it.It bit me and had a pose "try to touch me and you'll see!"
Agressivity comes from fear,we are tight because we are afraid,headaches often have this nature,many illnesses come from there too.Even bad dreams in the night.Analyze your behaviour.Why I did it?And this? -what comes at the end is fear,terror or pride.Hidden pride too.Emotion that don't goes with time,remains with us,maintains our body in the state of tension,exhaust our health.We forgot the reasons,but continue to live in this situation,suffer different aches,illnesses that can't be heal.All this because we ARE afraid.
When we understand,we can help us to become more happy and healthy person.Without this problem.It's not so easy to do.It's hides very well.But when you know about it,you know what to do with it.To be consciouse is the way to win.
6/01-07 I read a book where the author inserts psychological reviews and advises.He writes about the sense of scare too and tells about a sort of training for those who wants to win this sence.It's not his idea,that is why I don't write the name of the author.But I don't remember where is this idea from.You have to immagin as alive as possible the most bad possibilities of your death.For example you see the car comes on you,you have to see and to feel all particolaries of this incident,your blood,meat,all what you could feel in this moment.Immagin all different cases with all specific particolaries.They say,after some time you can win the deathly terror and in similar situations you don't waste time (moments) to be afraid and use it,time,to get away.
Personally I didn't do this exersice,I did other one.I saw myself as a body,piece of meat,something like this.Bad feeling.But it helps you to understand.Praticaly the same exersice that I wrote to win the dipendance from the very near person that mistreat us.Here we win the dipendance from our body.It could be really great if we could win dependance from the fear and aches.